she aimed at my chest with love in her eye

Seriously kids? K’Naan’s album “Troubadour” is one of the best complete packages I’ve heard in a long time. If you’ve got a remote interest in good hip hop/rap at all, this is well put together, well rhymed, well versed. Political, personal, and provocative, K’Naan’s tales of growing up in a very violent Somalia, moving to North America, learning English, and making it to where he is, to me, is the epitome of what good music is about.

And right now a certain someone has made this the track that’s stuck in my head.

welcome to my life tattoo, i’m a man now thanks to you

I love tattoos. I’ve posted photos here and on flickr of some of the ink that I have, but I did get some ink about 6 months ago that I haven’t talked about. I’m a believer of letting the idea of a tattoo settle – meaning if I want something specific, I think about it for about 4-6 months, sometimes longer – I don’t usually get tattoos on a whim. That said, every one of my tattoos is a marker for me. It marks time, people, places, memories – each one is thought out and created by me and my tattoo artist and attention to detail is critical for me.

That said – sometimes you just need to do something to make a change. When S and I separated, I got a tattoo. I guess deep down I knew that things were not going to go as planned, or maybe I was just preparing myself for a battle – I don’t know.

And at some point – actually it was on that last trip skiing that we took – we were watching a show about tattoos on the history channel or something – and I saw a segment on American military tattoos. And I learned that American seamen (haha) would get (usually cartoon-like) pigs tattooed on their left foot, and or roosters tattooed on their right – this is because when old merchant ships would sink, the crates containing roosters/chickens and pigs would make it to dry land. This explains some of the wild chicken and boar populations across the world, but for the sailors it meant they would survive. And at that time I really needed a reminder that I was going to get through whatever it was that was thrown my way.

I did a little more research and quickly knew that I wanted to get a rooster. I like that they are a masculine creature. They are a universal symbol of the rising sun. The rooster has been used as a symbol of pride, honesty, courage, vigilance, strength, watchfulness and flamboyance. I especially like the flamboyance part.

I did some image searching and came up with the tattoo below (I know it’s not the best photo but it’s actually kind of hard to get that shot by yourself) called a local shop that I knew I could just walk in and get it done and well….did it. The whole thought process was about a 3 day period. And I love it. When I look at it now it reminds me how far I’ve come, and how much I can handle.

Plus….I get to say that I have a cock on my foot.

i know all of this and more

Yep, I went away for two whole days and spent them entirely in “nature.” Well……after our arrival at The Forks, ME (which, I’ll have you know is absolutely NOTHING like Forks Washington unless we really weren’t looking hard enough for vampires) we took a really nice little hike into the woods and went to Moxie Falls – Which is amongst the highest waterfalls in New England. It was beautiful and breathtaking and loud and quiet at the same time. It was amazing.

And she knew me well enough to know that the kind of nature exposure we were up for needed to be tempered by luxury accommodations – or at least the nicest one in the area. And then we spent the next day whitewater rafting on the Kennebec river. It was SO freaking awesome – I can’t even describe it. Exhilarating and fun and a little scary – though once I realized that nothing really bad would happen if I did fall in – I was much calmer about everything. And it was so incredibly fun – I can’t wait to do it again, but next year I’d like to go on the day when the electric company that uses that river for power tests it’s generators and releases the dam to high flow – That has got to be one incredible ride!

Coming home was kind of sad – I mean, for a two day vacation, it felt much longer and that was great because it was much needed. But I really enjoyed spending uninterrupted time, totally disconnected – no computers, no cell phones, no nothing, with someone who I’m really really lucky to get to hang around with.

Unfortunately, I’m starting to think this hurricane business may mess up my Fenway plans. Eh – I wouldn’t mind spending some time in a rainstorm, either.

then later a movie too, and then home

I’m so tired but it’s been almost two weeks since I wrote anything and I guess I’m feeling guilty. It does help clear my head to write here – much like being active, eating well, and going to therapy do.

But I don’t have much. I’m working so incredibly hard that I can barely see straight. The money is really nice but I’m almost getting to the point where it doesn’t really matter anymore, though I do see kind of a way out of debt which is kind of reassuring as well.

Or maybe I do have a lot. Much of my time is spent thinking about the happiness that I’m letting into my heart and my life. I deserve to be happy.

Coming up soon? How I manage to not fall out of the boat while white water rafting. And having lots of tickets to lots of shows and events in the very near future.

And how she promises to protect me when I wear my cap to next Sunday’s game at Fenway – as long as I can manage to keep my mouth shut.

I mean…if James Carville and Mary Matalin can make it work….

its all about the wordplay

Last night I was taken to see Mr. A-Z in Boston. You should already by this point know that I have some HUGE music snobbery issues. And honestly, I throw Mraz into the same category as I put Hootie and the Blowfish and the Dave Matthews Band. I know some of you are going to give me shit for that, but, you know, my blog, my rules. Anyway, I went for 2 very distinct reasons. 1) She asked me to go and 2)G-Love and Special Sauce were an opening act. I have loved his music for a long long time and have seen him live before and so, heck yes I am going!

I should start off by saying that yesterday was my first day off in 3 weeks. I started the day by doing a 20 or so mile bike ride that started with a friend as a trek out to lighthouses and breakfast, and then turned into “J pretends she doesn’t have a car” day. Which was rad. I got a haircut and a new bike helmet and was barely ready to leave when I was supposed to be ready. We got to Boston w/ zero traffic issues and found parking and food and things were just going so well. K’Naan was the first opener, and I was pleasantly pleased with how good his set was. G Love was AWESOME and um, I’d show you a photo because I’m so pleased about it but it has my name on it so I can’t, but I got to meet him and get his new album signed. I’m such a starfucker sometimes, but then again, my stars are so not stars that it’s almost funny in a dorktastick way.

Anyway, onwards. Mraz. He puts on a good show, really. He sounds pretty good, and does some good variations on his own cheesy music but seriously? There’s this long horns solo interlude part to much of his music which honestly just sounds like SO much of the background music from the Wham “Make it Big” album. Really! At one point I started singing “Careless Whisper” to her just to prove my point.

Other notes? No one should sing “At Last” except Etta James and MAYBE Beyonce. I’m still undecided on that one. And. If you’re a white boy and your name isn’t Eric Clapton? Yeah, you shouldn’t cover a Bob Marley song either.

Onwards. I love making her laugh.

Which is a good thing because…

On the way home, for whatever reason we started talking about saints. I don’t know why, we just did. And Mother Theresa. And I said something about once hearing that she wasn’t actually that nice to people. And she said, “no, she’s not mean, at all.” And my dumb smartass says, “yeah, you know this because you’ve had tea with the woman.” And she said, “Um…Actually? I have had tea with her.” And hilarity and an awesome story ensued. And I will certainly be watching my tongue a little bit more in the future. But all in all? Another perfect day in what has become a fairly regular series of perfect days.

Yeah. I’m continuing to learn some pretty awesome things about her. Me. Life. Potential.

Happiness.