Archive for January, 2007


a babymaking post

January 31, 2007

Yeah – I know – not something that’s been talked about much here lately. But it’s there. It’s ALWAYS there.  And there’s a possible…situation.  So. Let me bring you up to speed on things. As of this second, our plans are to wait on IVF. Till like, late summer. I know. Seems a long way away, but it may be the first practical thing I’ve ever done in my life.  If we do the shared risk IVF plan (upwards of three cycles, one cost, partial refund if a live baby doesn’t result) it will cost us about $30,000.  With very crafty and careful budgeting, if we WAIT till late summer to start trying, we can have paid off an IVF loan by the time the baby arrives, and still stick with our stay at home mom plan.  If the first cycle doesn’t work, well, then, we’ll have a good bank for when the baby comes.  Obviously, the goal is to not be in baby debt when a baby gets here.

But then there’s this. I did a little peeking. If we charted ovulation this cycle (I haven’t since we took a break,) and it falls where it normally does (days 19-21) and then just went for it on my next cycle in March (by this I mean…a non medicated (see, though, I DO have 1 cycles worth of Clomid laying around,) non “watched,” all me cycle) we’d be doing the deed on one of our birthdays. Is that a sign? I don’t believe in signs but…maybe that is one.  

So, even though my tubes aren’t…great (though my doc said she’d seen MANY women with worse get knocked up) and I’ve NEVER done a non-medicated cycle before, but my cycles have been like clockwork (and all under 40 days) since NOT trying…Is this something you’d go for? I mean, I know the gut reaction is “heck yes!! Go for it j!!” because you do care about me, and S, and want us to succeed, but do you think it’s a good choice? It’s an extravagant birthday present, but…you only turn 30 once. And if it worked….well….I mean, in the words of Miracle Max, “It would take a miracle,” but if it did??? Well. Wow.

So? What do you think?  Go for it? Yes/no? Clomid? Yes/no? Spring for one IUI? Dumb idea all around??? 

But you can be sure the pee sticks are on order.


j and the greatly anticipated furby story

January 30, 2007

Parties at my friend K’s house are always…an experience. Just this past November we were playing “Pin the mullet on Melissa,” (Etheridge) and I always look forward to the holiday party that he and his housemates (anywhere from 3-5 others,) hold every year. Two years ago the invite was all of them in their snowflake sweaters, holding the household cats. They looked like (as one of the roommates put it) “queer extras on the set of Family Ties.” Last year (meaning last month, but technically it was last year so I feel a need for correctness) the invite was the nativity scene…with them playing Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, and 2 wise men. The other wise man was a cardboard cut out of Dolly Parton, and the cats were dressed up in cotton ball cloaks, making them…sheep? Anyway, the party is always hotly anticipated.

The highlight of the party is the Yankee Swap.  Last year, S and I brought an engagement gift that we got and have never used because it is one of those useless kind of kitchen things. I don’t want to say what it is exactly because the givers of the gift may be readers of the blog. You never know.  The year before that we brought some coffee mugs with roosters on them. Believe you me, they were the sought after item and were traded around about 10 times.  I drew a pretty high number this year. There were many many high quality gifts going around, but instead of choosing a new present, or taking the already opened NKOTB calendar from 1989, I plucked the (already opened) Furby from my friend C’s hands. He was heartbroken.

But you see, I’d never had a Furby before. Never even played with one. And from what people were telling me, they seemed kind of neat. Teach it stuff, it talks back to you…excellent!  I was so so excited when the game ended and the Furby was still in my hands!! I wanted Furby ownership so badly.  We spent the rest of the night trying to teach the thing like, “I am gay,” and “homo” and “m*****f*****.”  Good role models, eh? Anyway, it did none of those things, and mostly just made the most annoying laughing giggling sounds. But I took it home with me, and managed to waste time on all the days leading up to Christmas teaching the thing absolutely NOTHING. Then it sat. Untouched, unplayed with, it just sat on my dresser for weeks.

I was going to give it back to C who seemed to want it badly too, but when I went to pick it up to bring it to his house, the Furby said something NEW! I was so excited. For a second, anyway. And then I put it back on the dresser.  I haven’t touched the thing since. Totally avoiding it. Could care less about it or teaching it anything.

So, dear readers, now I have to figure out an answer to S’s question of “I wonder if that’s what you’ll be like when we have a kid. I mean you want that so so badly too!”

I know she’s joking but……..what if??



A comicfull interlude

January 29, 2007

Being as my internet connection from home is no longer available (read: the jig is up and we’re going to have to actually pay for it now,) and I can’t upload some of the cooler things that happened this weekend,  I’m going to throw you towards my good friend KD’s blog, and her animated comic set to “On the Radio,” by Regina Spektor. I think it’s brilliant, and when your done with that, please check out some of her other dyketastic work. I’ve known KD for about as long as I’ve lived in Portland. She’s wickedly funny, talented, and incredibly adorable.  If you like her work – pass it on:)


marital bliss – decades worth!

January 25, 2007

It’s been a while since I posted a true “story” for you, and as I have something uh, not so important I’d like to blog about later in the week, I felt that it would be prudent for me to lay some groundwork, and also, do something I don’t often do, which is let “you” know more about my real life connections (well, outside of S, and other internet people.) Anyway, here goes.

First, I recommend a refresher course in restaurant exploits with my friend K. K is probably my best friend in Portland – I truly enjoy everything about our friendship. It is the kind of bond that maintains a great balance between openness and willingness to deal with tough personal stuff, and basically just hanging out and having a fantastic time. Spending time with him always makes me laugh, and we have a lot in common (uh, even our last names are (well, used to be) the same – we are definitely not related though) from shared interest in outdoor activities, juvenile humor,  and a love of most things sports related, namely, undying love and affection for the NY Yankees.

Anyway, two years ago, summer hit “early” in Maine and we had a 90 something degree day in very early June.  S was still working in alumni affairs and had to work the university’s reunion event. So K, along with me, and our other friends J and K (who I will call Y to alleviate confusion – Haha. I just named my friend “KY”) spent most of the day together. We went to the “swimmin’ hole,” to cool off, and hang out, and laugh, and enjoy each others company.

It was decided that for dinner we would go to Shogun – the kind of Japanese steakhouse where crazy chefs throw food around and play with fire and cook your food right in front of your face.  Being as there were only four of us, other diners were seated at the same “table” that we were. K and I were seated next to each other.

An elderly couple was seated next to us, and mostly they kept to themselves. They arrived after we had, and left before us. Total seating time must have been less than 45 minutes.  During the course of their “stay” at the restaurant we found out that they were from Ellsworth (3 hours north) and were visiting their son, but the real reason for their visit was because they loved the restaurant so much.  We chatted with them about some current television shows and events, and some personal stuff about them (mostly that the husband was very hard of hearing) but mostly we watched them consume (what we thought was) a large amount of alcohol for such a short period of time.  For her? Two mini-carafes of sake and for him, 3 huge Manhattan’s (with sidecars!)

We mostly kept to ourselves and our conversation revolved mostly about S’s and my upcoming wedding.  We were talking about the plans, and things that still needed to be done and the things that S would not let me put on the gift registry (at that point I was only restricted to not listing a kayak, as time went on, the list grew.)

At the end of their meal, the other couple…stumbled to their feet. Before leaving, the husband turned to me and K, held his arms up (kind of like hugging us both, but from afar) and said, “I wish you two young people the same 47 years of happiness that my wife and I have enjoyed.” We held it together until after they were out the door, and then we lost it.  Hysterical laughter overtook us. We couldn’t stop.  K and I looked at each other and just…laughed.  We spent the rest of the night referring to each other as “my husband/wife of 47 years.”  We still do, occasionally, even if my real wife or his real girlfriend are hanging out with us.  Funny, crazy, stupid stuff like this happens ALL the time to K, and then, usually the people hanging out with him. It’s a bonus, really – one of the reasons I’m totally glad he’s in my life.

Hopefully, this little story has given you a little more background into the kinds of “real” relationships I have with “real” people, and also lays the groundwork for “Christmas, K, his housemates, the party, and the Furby from hell.”  Coming soon. Promise.


The Taxman Cometh

January 24, 2007

Ok kids. Tax time. Hands up if you’ve claimed an exemption for paying over 7.5% of your income in medical procedures – and preferably, don’t own a house or had not itemized in the past. 

I got very good at 1040EZ – but I feel now it is time to expand my form horizons.  I also think the IRS website is truly horrible at explaining how to wrangle these tax issues in human being terms, instead of accountant language. And I don’t want to actually pay someone to do my taxes because, 1)I’ve never done that and 2)I’m a cheap bastard.

Any advice, assvice, or Advil appreciated.

PS : new post on  


we escaped to our own tiny island…well, not really

January 22, 2007

Sorry for the radio silence, but S and I spent the weekend away, on a beautiful island, surrounded by sparkling blue water, and clear, colorful skies.  No dear readers, we did not somehow find our way to the tropics, (which is what most sane people would do in the middle of a Maine winter,) we actually went North instead of South. We spent a blissful weekend in Stonington, ME.

Stonington is actually a part of Deer Isle, but I digress. The warmest the temperature got all weekend was a nippy 12 degrees, and with near 40 mph winds, much walking sightseeing was pretty much out of the question. But that’s ok, because not too many of the stores or shops were open.  But seriously, we had the BEST weekend. Being as there is no cell phone service on the island, we made credit card calls (I can’t remember the last time I did that) to our parents to let them know we survived the journey (there was a pretty good snow storm going on as we left,) and that we were currently enjoying the last bit of sunset over the harbor, which was the view out of our room window at the Inn. I’d show you pictures but I think the S+J days of free internet at home are over – damn. Maybe later in the week.

We then had to make a choice about dinner. We actually had 2 of them. Mikey G’s (which we passed a few miles up the road on the way in to town) offered “dinner, drinks, and wifi.” On this particular Friday, they also had a “live band,” (they had karaoke the following night!)  We chose instead to go to the Harbor Cafe, across the street from the beautiful Inn on the Harbor, where we stayed.

Let me just say that if you like fried, the Harbor Cafe is for you.  Seriously. Also, they feature liver and onions on their menu. Amazing. I also can’t remember the last time I saw liver and onions on a menu. It seemed like this was the meet up place for everyone in town, including the county sheriff.  These were amazing islanders, who spoke just like the “downeast Mainers” that I’d hoped they’d be. It was awesome.  Oh yeah. If you want the lobster dinner off season, make sure you call ahead. They probably have to go pull a trap for you.

We totally fell in love with the island and its inhabitants. Who held doors, and said “thank you” in return for us holding doors for them. I saw neighbors help each other out, and saw a really really tight community. Being around people with a very strict set of manners was…actually refreshing.  The biggest activity of the weekend was the high school basketball game, and from all the buzz we heard about it, everyone in town was probably there!  Did I mention that we pretty much fell in love with the place?  Don’t worry, we won’t be ditching our “city” life any time soon. I mean, even though its in the middle of nowhere, it IS an island, and this is Maine so, the real estate prices are pretty much over our heads. Though perhaps there is a double wide somewhere on the island we could afford….seriously though, for the weekend it was a wonderful place to just veg out and enjoy each others company.  I’m sure that after a few more days I’d start to feel jittery at the loss of contact and uh, healthy eating choices.

In lieu of discovering and exploring the island, we instead opted for getting……re-acquainted with each other in front of a roaring fire, overlooking the most beautiful sunsets on the harbor.   We had a few “room picnics” with provisions we’d gathered at the (one) grocery store on the island, and the sandwich/pizza/supply store down the block (which had a surprisingly good cheap wine section.)  Without phones, or computers, or traffic to annoy us, we only had time to talk, snuggle, and enjoy each others company.  Thanks to J&A for giving us this wonderful weekend getaway as our Christmas present this year. I think it was one of the best, (most needed) gifts we’ve ever received.


Hey Ya

January 18, 2007

Hi everybody. Welcome to the new home of Cheese and Whine.  Take a look, say hi, and uhm, you know, I’m always looking for feedback. Something you absolutely hate?  Let me know, and perhaps it can be altered. Perhaps not though, it’s taken a little bit of sweat and swears to get it to look like this. But I’ll try.  Anyway, if you would be so kind as to update your links (if you do that manually,) and again, welcome!


Click on, My Friends

January 17, 2007

Too much going on for more than one original post today. Please join me at for Yet Another Twist in the Two Uteri Saga. AKA “The Two Utes.*”

Not that you need more convincing to check it out, but I’ll give you the “I never blogged about that before” teaser to get you going. For me, it’s an important post, and a really big step.




*If you don’t get this, go rent “My Cousin Vinny.”  Now.


It is such a strong word, but…

January 16, 2007

I HATE it when people don’t start their cars before they start scraping their windshields. For a few reasons. The first being, it’s dumb. If you just start the car, turn the defroster on, and walk away for a bit, when you return your windshield will be mostly ice/snow free and require very little scraping. Have some patience.

Secondly, do you really think hacking away at that layer of ice is really going to do anything but possibly shatter your windshield?? For serious.

The third reason that I hate this action (or inaction, I suppose) is that waking up to that unmistakable sound of scrape scrap scrape on a windshield is…not nice or sweet. So, TAKE NOTE, people who live in my building who don’t defrost before scraping. I’m thinking not nice things about you, and your intellegence level!



January 15, 2007

Three words for you folks: Women’s Roller Derby. Yep, that’s right. Last night S and I had one of those experiences where we’d heard about this Maine team forming, then remembered vague imagery of 70’s roller derby, and then had the opportunity to see for ourselves, scantily clad women, on skates, kind of beating the crap out of each other.

Roller Derby!

It was awesome.

Yes, I know, there are those that would view activities like this as a really bad idea, as something really not good for women, and a spectacle that encourages violence and also misogynistic behavior. Know what? I saw about 40 women seemingly having the time of their lives, really enjoying the teamwork, camaraderie, and skill it takes to actually compete in roller derby. It was incredible. Big women, small women, moms, queers – all competing together, supported by their families and friends. We had a great time, and I highly encourage you to see if you’ve got a local roller derby team in your neck of the woods. It’s great entertainment, and you won’t be disappointed! Besides, it’s not expensive – at $5 a head, it was very affordable, very enjoyable weekend.