Archive for September, 2006


Isn’t That Convenient?

September 29, 2006

So, here I am sitting in a gorgeous house in the “wilds” of Western Massachusetts. I only brought my laptop so that my smarty designer friend could help me out with a little side project I’m working on (more on that later) but turns out, they have a wireless router, and so here I am. I didn’t think there would be access, so I can’t bring you up to the moment updates about the Big E as I forgot my camera cord at home, so you’ll have to wait. Funny, I sorta was looking forward to an unplugged weekend, but you know the temptation. Is. Too. Great.

I’ll tell you a little bit about my bus ride. Let me first state that I am not making judgments on anyone, but I will say that the ride from Portland to Boston was MUCH nicer than the ride from Boston to Springfield. The people seemed nicer, no one was loud, belligerent, or talking on their cell phones from Portland to Boston. I’m sorry I can’t say the same for the second leg of the journey.

I’m also very very thankful for being afforded the ability to both own and operate a vehicle. I need to be reminded to be thankful for things more often, I think. I think I take things for granted. I think I forget where I’ve been, thinking too much of where I’d like to be…..and not appreciating how far I’ve come. And that other people have not been as fortunate as I am, and have not been afforded the opportunities to succeed that I have. I am blessed.

I also miss my wife. A lot already. I’m sad that she couldn’t join me for fun this weekend. Did I mention I miss her?


The Rules

September 28, 2006

Since some of you have asked about my “you can’t blog about that” rules, I thought I’d make a whole post about it. Some of the rules are self created, and others are enforced by S. no particular order:

1- I can not blog about our (reallyreallyquiteplentifulandawesome) sex life. Period.

2- I do not blog about my place of employment, though I sometimes (not really often) talk about what I do. I don’t think that many of you who only know me through this blog know how I eek out a meager living.

3- I do not blog about my family, for two reasons. One, they (with the exception of my trusted sister) don’t know about its existence and have no way of rebutting any claims about them that I may make, and Two, if they ever DO stumble across the blog and start reading, I would hate for them to think I wrote stuff about them, posted it on the internet, and didn’t tell them.

4- There are currently no pictures of either one of us on the blog, nor do I foresee that becoming a reality any time soon. Pictures of us on flickr are locked for friends only viewing.

5- No real names are allowed. Initials are ok.

6- I can blog about our plans, etc, but not specifics, times, dates, etc. I can blog about these things AFTER the fact, but not before.

7- Remain mostly anonymous. Seriously. Someone warped could read through the entire blog and probably piece together enough information to figure out who we really were. I’m not saying that as an invitation, it’s just a fact. S has a fairly public job with a good bit of exposure, and 99% of people who figure out who she is, will know who I am too. I’m not that worried about it, really. At some point in time, perhaps when the world starts going right for me and a baby is here, living and breathing, and I’m no longer working, I may “come out” of the blog closet. Don’t know yet. Right now, anonymous is good.

That’s about it. I don’t think I missed any. So…

What are your “rules?”


Return of the Fuckster

September 27, 2006

So…last night, as S and I were cuddling and doing our pre-sleep rituals, I threw my leg over her stomach (do not picture dirty here, people, think big hug) and she said, “ok, no bladder poking, I have to pee.”

After a few more minutes of sharing sweet nothings, I moved my leg (but sorta accidentally pushed into her bladder while doing it) and she went to the bathroom. When she returned, I spent the next 10 minutes or so convincing her that she had peed on my leg “just a little bit” when I kneed her in the abdomen. She (rightly) didn’t believe me, but then through a wonderfully convincing acting job, she bought it. I called her my little peepeehead for a good 5 minutes.

She didn’t like this. She didn’t like it even more when I said that I was going to blog about the whole peeing on me incident. I said that I could totally blog about it because it didn’t break any of the “you may not blog about this” rules. She knew I was right.

I let the game go on for just a little bit more and then I broke down and told her the truth – that no, she really didn’t pee on me, and that I wouldn’t ever actually blog about her peeing on me.

But because I jave so much guilt over my pre-bedtime behavior from yesterday, I thought I’d let you all know how much of a prick I really can be. Seems fair, eh?

I’m sorry, love. I will never try to convince you that you peed on me ever ever again.


A River in Egypt

September 26, 2006

I can no longer fool myself into believing that it is “end of summer” any longer.
It is fall.
The facts:

Last night I “saw my breath” outside for the first time of the season.

The heat kicked on for the first time of the year this morning.

I am sitting at my desk, eating my first hot cereal breakfast of the year, Cream of Rice laced with just a little bit of honey. Yum.

I am wearing footwear that requires socks. And a really cute sweater vest.

I have a local apple in my lunch.

It got dark fairly early last night.

The wonderful smell of leaves and fire is in the air after sundown.

Yep. It’s fall. And I’m at a point where I’m totally ok with it.


Hippy Pie Sucks

September 24, 2006

My friend, Spooky Genius has written a great review of this years Big E. Sounds so good, I am hoping to make an excursion to Massachusetts next weekend. Here in Maine, this weekend brings the Common Ground fair. This fair is “put on” by the Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association. It’s really kind of like a hippy state fair. There is no processed foods, refined sugar, or coffee to be found on the grounds, and all concessions and vendors are hawking organic wares. They do have whole wheat fried dough, so, I guess it’s not THAT healthy, but still. There’s a huge social justice tent, and you can learn how to milk sheep and goats at least a few times during the festival.

Tonight, we had two friends over for dinner. I put together a pear, carmelized walnut, and goat cheese salad, and made homemade black pepper pasta with vodka sauce. It was damn fine. Our friends bought dessert – vanilla ice cream and an organic apple pie that they picked up that afternoon at Common Ground. Organic, whole wheat crusted, sweetened with maple syrup, apple pie. It looked pretty good. The whole idea of it sounded pretty good. I have to tell you, honestly, it sucked really really bad. Really bad. I mean, I love dessert, but this was freakin awful. The “guts” of the pie were not horrible, but there wasn’t much guts to be found, and the crust was just….so not good. I was really rooting for the hippy pie, but we all would have been happier with something “Sara Lee” made in the frozen foods aisle.

Your PSA of the week? Just say no to hippy pie.


To My Yid Homies

September 22, 2006

L’shanah tovah tikatevu v’techatemu!

Wishing you a sweet, healthy, and joyous New Year! May 5767 be wonderful for us all.


With These 4 Words….TAGGED

September 22, 2006

I’ve been tagged by Calliope!!

The ‘game’ is to take the four words provided and then write something about them, which will miraculously reveal something about myself to you.

The four words given to me were: Magic, Elevator, Humble, Perfect

Magic: Ok. Hi, my name is j, and I’m a freaking dork. Not in the cool, I can put computers together, fix any electrical problem in the house, expertly put flat ship furniture together way, but in a REALLY freaking dork kind of way.

While I don’t “get” role playing (and someday I’ll write about my theory of people who do RP games and how 90% of the time they’re into S/m, but not today) games like Dungeons and Dragons, I freaking LOVE playing Magic: The Gathering. I have many decks of many colors and strengths. Uh. Yeah. I also have no one to play with. Dork.

Elevator: My pervy self immediately thinks about that Aerosmith song, “Love in an Elevator.” But I will never be living it up when I’m going down. Wanna know why? So. Many. Germs. Seriously, so many people touch all over elevators all day long and probably never wash their hands so I’ll never get caught in flagrante delicto in a public elevator. This is the same reason why I don’t bang in public bathrooms. The thought of all the germs scheeves me out more than anything. I’ll take my public sex outside, under the cover of night. Though, I try not to think too much about the “nature” that’s out there, cuz sometimes that freaks me out too.

Humble: Is it telling that I’m having a hard time coming up with something to enter for this word? Is my ego too big? Am I going to have trouble getting through doorways today? I don’t know. I try to be humble. Really, I do. I don’t think it always shows, but I don’t think I project myself to have some sense of excessive hubris either. I do “accept defeat” humbly. I am very good about admitting when I’m wrong, even if it makes me look super stupid.

Perfect: I’m so not even close to perfect. In fact, I don’t even strive for it. Perfection is highly over-rated. I do believe that even though things lack perfection, they’re perfect for me. I’m not going to lie and say my wife is perfect either, but know what? She’s totally perfect for me. Our weird things and neuroses mesh so well together. And really, isn’t that all you could want in a partner?

Ok, I’m supposed to tag people, but I have some rejection issues and I would be crushed if someone I tagged didn’t play. So, if you’d like to play, your four words are: Change, Dare, Worry, and Scissors.