Archive for September, 2007



September 27, 2007

Sorry I’ve been quiet. I’m ok, really. There’s a lot of stuff going on.  After losing the IVF game last month, I’ve had to take some good looks at things going on in my life that weren’t making me happy. SO much hinged on getting pregnat. If I got pregnant, I’d stay at my current job, and then quit when the baby came and be a stay at home mom. That was my hope, anyway, and a way that I tolerated working where I do.

While I like the work I do and truly enjoy many of my co workers, the one who I share an office with is…not fun to work with. I don’t want to go into it too much here, but lets just say it’s an unpleasant work environment at best, and downright awful at worst, and I just can’t sit next to it anymore. So the last week has been filled with finding decent jobs, and applying. I hope something pops up soon….I’m pretty well qualified for a lot of stuff, so…we’ll see if anything turns up, but understandably, that’s taken a lot of my attention.

I’ll be back with more, soon. 



We interrupt this program…

September 24, 2007

For a weekend filled with what we figured out was my first migraine.  Instead of going to the hippy fair we stayed home.  We spent some nice time with each other, which was well needed and much enjoyed.

We also rented some TV on DVD.  Well, we came to this rental decision because we couldn’t agree on a movie to see together. One of us REALLY wanted to go see “Superbad,” but it was totally shot down by the other of us, who really wanted to see “Becoming Jane.” Can you guess whow wanted to see what?

Anyway, we are falling in love with Heroes. Who knew I was that into freaky superhero action?  I mean, I eschewed X-Men till I saw it and I LOVED that shit. Well, probably because the X-Men trilogy is perhaps the GAYEST superhero movie series ever, but still.  Love Heroes. Though must admit, some of the creepy/scary/gross moments kind of get to me a bit.  Like regenerative girl. Gross.

Also, watched the pilot of NBC’s new show Chuck, which will be on tonight. We LOVED this show. Seriously. Action + Geeky+ funny equals perfect. I don’t know if they’ll be able to keep it going, but from what we saw on the pilot the show has great potential.

We don’t really watch TV on TV. What I mean by that is we wait till it’s out on DVD and then watch a season at a time. Which is nice and suits our compulsive natures, though admittedly, we now watch Grey’s Anatomy every Thursday night, and Jeopardy whenever we’re home to catch it.  Which we wouldn’t have been able to do had we not gotten cable earlier in the summer.  Hrmmmm.  I still stick by my “I hate TV” mantra. But sometimes, in small doses….even the bad is good.


just up the road a bit

September 20, 2007

About an hour north of our city is a small village called Wiscasset.  There isn’t much notable about the town, except for a a logjam of traffic in the summer as Route 1 runs through it, and apparantly one of the best lobster rolls can be found at Red’s Eats, in the center of town.

Less well known is that just south of the town proper is a….store. Called Big Al’s.  Big Al’s is what one might commonly call a “train wreck” store – you know, dented cans, etc. But this is truly more than that.  Mostly, it’s a closeout store, but….well, there’s stationary and small toys and wrapping paper.  There are also  lots of little knicknacks. And some not so little knicknacks. And trust me, I’m practically issuing them too much respect by calling them knicknacks.  And luckily for us Portlanders, we now have access to Big Al’s and we don’t have to drive an hour! It’s true. Big Al’s has opened a second location in South Portland. Woo Hoo!

We went to Big Al’s a few weeks ago….and this was my favorite item for sale. I can see these becoming the “must have” item in bathrooms across America…..





September 19, 2007

Just a cheesy little post to tell you all how grateful I am to know all of you.  Your comments, emails, snail mails, phone calls, small gifts, and the big gifts I’ve received this week have all been wonderful and done tremendous things for my/our spirits. Most importantly, the love which you’ve showered upon us during the past week or so.  Again. Thank you. I can’t thank you all enough.

As for us? We’re ok. I guess, ok as we can be, anyway. Surprisingly, I haven’t had any huge meltdowns since last Wednesday, not even when my body made sure I knew that the end was here. Which I will add, has been painful.

I’m starting to take steps to make me healthier/happier before thinking about round two. I’ve started my workout plan again, which feels good because I’ve been stagnant since starting the Lupron back in July. I took my first yoga class ever last night. I enjoyed it much and will be going back next week. I think it will be a good relaxation, and if not, at least a really good stretch once a week. I’m considering therapy. We’ll see.

Digging out is hard. But much easier knowing that all of you are there and have my back. Thanks again.



Year two

September 17, 2007

“What is real?” asked the velveteen rabbit one day, when he and the toy skin horse were lying side by side in the nursery.

“Real isn’t how your made,” said the toy skin horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone really loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but really loves you, then you become real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the skin horse, for he was always truthful. “when you are real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up?” he asked. “Or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the skin horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Once you are real, you can’t become unreal again.”

Excerpts from the Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

I still promise to love you, always. xo.


oh well, enough said

September 12, 2007
I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real

there’s not enough room in the world…

September 11, 2007

Who knew you could be so positively negative?

See that? We’d not seen that before. It was pretty exciting for a few days here. Really. My beta numbers on Friday were fine. We were told that we should buy a lottery ticket because we were on the path of damn lucky. Unfortunately, we would have been out a dollar, and right now, we’re most certainly out of dreams.

Beta Friday? 36. Beta Monday? 52.

Things are not looking good, and this one’s probably over.

It was blissfully nice, being pregnant for 4 days. I’m going to miss it. A lot.

I think I’m out for a while.