Archive for the ‘Medical’ Category


attacked by stupid

September 28, 2008

This post is being dictated by J (and typed by S) because J is on some rather strong pain killers.

For whatever reason, there are times when smart, grown people make dumbass choices – all under the guise of having fun.  Such was the case on Friday when I called, “race you!” across the parking lot to one of my co-workers.

So, we raced.

In work shoes, on wet pavement, in a rain storm.

Going full speed, my shoes started to slip and I felt myself falling forward.  The only thing that went through my mind was, that I needed to treat this as though I was sliding into home plate – minus the base, the ball and the game itself.  Also, lacking grass or somewhat forgiving Georgia, red clay.

The photo above if one my four injuries.  That is the elbow.  The knee has a similar-looking formation.  My shoulder has an injured rotator cuff and a fractured humerus.

The fourth injury, of course, is my pride.

I lost the race.

So, now I am at home on some ok drugs, trying to find a comfortable position in which to rest in a sling, and thinking about this weekend’s question:  what is the dumbest, self-inflicted injury you have sustained.


Economic stimuwha?

May 1, 2008

A short and unplanned conversation with my favorite Amazonian Politico has led to a couple of sleepless nights for me.  Let me go to the beginning though, so this tale doesn’t seem so disjointed….

As we’re not “really” married, we don’t have all of those zillion protections that come with the “real” piece of paper. And when we started the babymaking experiment we knew that eventually, we were going to have to cough up some serious shekels to get paperwork like wills, health care proxies, power of attorney stuff, and eventually, adoption papers in order. But we also knew that the goal was making a kid, and that was expensive too so we threw all our resources there, and figured that when a kid showed up we’d find a way to pay for all of the legalities.  Which we know is really flawed logic, but, whatever.

Now, I’m really kind of happy that I live in a state where the option to do these things is here, like the adoption stuff, etc, but for reals? It costs a LOT of money to have a lawyer draw up all this paperwork. It’s not like we can go to the local poor kids legal council (and the thing is, we’re not terrifically poor, its just that you know, a grand or so to work out all this paper is not something we can come up with out of thin air – I really don’t think we’re alone in this) and get their staff to help us out – the attorney has to be very familiar with this kind of stuff, so that nothing gets missed, and that the paperwork is water tight.

I really don’t think that either of our families would question the commitment we made in front of them and the rest of our friends over 2 years ago. I don’t think that anyone thinks that the 5 years that we’ve been together have not ‘counted’ as committed or real or whatever. But in grief? Who knows. My father’s girlfriend locked us out of his house and didn’t let us have anything except what we already had on us from the hospital when he died.

I guess this wouldn’t be weighing so heavily on my mind, but, if you haven’t had access to the private posts, S is having a hysterectomy late next month.  There is a softball sized fibroid located in the middle of the lining of her uterus. Because of it’s size it can not be removed laproscopically, and because of it’s location in the lining of the uterus, they’ve decided that to save her uterus would make a particularly risky and bloody surgery very likely. But, again, because of it’s size it will likely have to be removed abdominally, which makes it slightly more risky surgery, and definitely has a longer recovery time. S will be out of commission for the month of July.

Now, S has complete faith in her medical team and because of her confidence, I do too. And everything will probably be just fine. But still. There’s always a ‘what if.’

And that’s what’s kept me up at night recently.

And instead of paying off debt, or putting it into savings, or fuck, even blowing it all on a gigantor television set…our economic stimulus package (should we actually get it – not that we don’t trust the administration) is going to go to trying to amass as many of the zillion rights that “real” marriage would have afforded us.

I wonder if Mr. Bush would see the irony in that.


Protected: Protected: First day again – same password

March 25, 2008

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The Ice(woman) cometh

January 31, 2008

Before I get to the meat of this post, we had a death in the family today. Yes, today my beloved Mac died. I will say that I did do the responsible thing today and stayed at home. Which means I did NOT jump into my car and drive to Salem, New Hampshire, which is where the closest Apple store is located. Nope, I stayed at home and I really gave thought to the kind of laptop I needed. I mean, do I need a Mac? I can get a comparable pc for a lot less. But I like Apple. A lot. I really really do.  So I think I’m going to get one, but order it on line instead of spending $50 in gas and tolls to pick another one up.  So anyway, I think I’m going to order one tonight. I may think on it a bit longer. Any thoughts from the peanut gallery would be appreciated.

On to the real part of the post. About 4 months ago S started chomping on ice. She’d fill up glasses of ice and chew on it whenever she could.  It was kind of weird, and I was worried about her dental work, but really, there’s a lot of other things she could be fixating on, right?

So when my mom was here for the holidays she mentioned that chewing ice like that is a sign of anemia. When we googled it when we got home we found out that people who are anemic often have weird cravings for chewing on ice, starch, and….um. dirt. Yeah. Thankfully she wasn’t into the dirt. But S waited until a few days ago to make the appointment with her doctor. In the few days since then she’s had a couple of VERY weird temperature flux situations and some other weird things, that passed fairly quickly, but was still kind of weird.

She had her blood drawn this morning and um, her hemoglobin level was around 7. Normal is somewhere above 13. Her other blood levels were really not so good too, so she’s going on some (really harsh) iron supplements today and will have her blood re-tested on Monday. And hopefully it’ll have been caught early enough so that other scary things (like blood transfusions) can be avoided.

Part of what is really yucky about this is that outside of the allergies and asthma, S is in fairly good health. And will all of the close attention we’ve paid to MY medical needs for the past two years maybe we haven’t  been watching her close enough. And this makes me upset too. I mean, yeah I’m not thrilled that this was put off for so long that it’s gotten to a point where it’s serious, but why wasn’t I more attentive? I don’t know. Kind of puts things into perspective.

Anyway, I’m really glad she’s going to be treated for this and soon, because winter’s almost over and you know, all of the snow and ice will melt and I won’t be able to tell her that if she runs out of ice cubes she can just go gnaw on the plow piles.


Looking for the +1 (or 2?)

November 9, 2007

Today I’m taking my place at the table with the 12.5% of women who experience infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss,  and at the nudge of Mel and her “Blogactivism,” campaign telling you my story.  

I have always wanted children. I’ve known this….forever. Coming out as queer did not put a damper on these plans, it just meant that I better get lookin’ for THE woman with whom I would build a future with.  I found her in my 26th year, and married her two years later. Being as two girls does not a baby make, we knew that we would need some help. We also knew that I had funky funky cycles and probably had PCOS. Our first meeting with our RE, just a few weeks after our wedding confirmed all of this, and we started on a protocol of Metformin and Clomid IUI cycles.

And our journey sent us looking for sperm.  We realized that as we had very few bio-male friends in our lives, and that the ones we DID have and love lived too far away, or (in our minds) were too young to make huge decisions like sperm donation and severing parental rights, we’d need to buy the goods.  At the cost of about $350 per vial.  Thankfully, our insurance at the time covered diagnostic testing and monitoring, but not the actual IUI procedures.  We did five Clomid IUI’s which cost us around $5000.

After deciding that my HSG results were less than spectacular, we took some time off to pay off our debts and move on to IVF. Things looked very promising for our first IVF cycle, which again, we paid for out of pocket.  Actually, we had no pockets from which to pay with so the kind people at the credit card company picked up the approx. $8500 tab. That number doesn’t include drugs, which thankfully, some WERE covered by my medical insurance, but the most expensive ones were donated by friends and friends of friends. We paid a couple hundred dollars instead of a couple THOUSAND dollars for the drugs for our first IVF cycle.

Even though I was a great responder, for whatever reason, only 3 eggs were able to be retrieved from my overstuffed (there were at least 12 on monitor the morning before) ovaries and due to this low count, my clinic decided to perform rescue ICSI.  Tack on another $2000 for this unexpected expense. But it was ok, for a minute, as we DID get pregnant. Unfortunately,  we found out that this pregnancy wouldn’t last on Rosh Hashanah.  We got the ICSI bill from our clinic the day I started bleeding….which didn’t end until Yom Kippur.

Without having any of this expense covered by insurance, we’re in a waiting pattern again. We’d like to do IVF #2 in the early spring of 2008, and while I’m frustrated and sad that we’re waiting because of money, I’m tremendously thankful that we are in a position where we may be able to make our family expansion dreams a reality.


last chance effort

November 8, 2007

I’ve been “away” this week, but wanted to pop in on this last day of voting for the 2007 Weblog awards and ask you kindly to clicky click over to their site and vote for the Stirrup-Queens for best medical/health issues blog. Mel has one of the most comprehensive (in)fertility blogs, ever, with links constantly being updated, and TONS of information right there.

Her site deals with IF in a sane, compassionate, sometimes funny, and totally inclusive way. Plus, she’s just mad cool, a great baker, and a kind friend who had nothing but the right things to say to me when I have needed some support in this totally fucked up game of babymaking. 

So yeah. 

Vote today (it’s your last chance) and hopefully she’ll win…and perhaps win more than a title or an icon, but shine a little more spotlight on this issue which obviously is very near and dear to me.


For those playing along at home

August 7, 2007

I am sufficiently suppressed. Things are quiet. E2 is 29. I’m assuming this is good as they are letting me start stims on Thursday. Right now? 10 follicles on the left, 15 on the right. I’ve been told that 25 is a respectable but not scary number to start out with. Let’s see if they keep up.