because that’s your best bet

May 29, 2009

Things that are not so ok:

1) heart hurts, again
2) going through the motions
3) feeling empty
4) missing S, and being married to her, a lot
5) being confronted with the realities of S and A being together
6) making decisions that I’m not really understanding
7) falling back on using S as support
Eight) starting to check out of things, again

Things that are ok:

1) I fit into Medium sized t-shirts, and have lost 3 pants sizes
2) I ran outside (as opposed to on a treadmill) and didn’t trip or die
3) I am going to see my favorite people this weekend
4) Favorite people are giving me furniture for my studio and kitchen
5) After making some purchase returns I now have some cash to buy new clothes with (see #1)
6) Late nights spent rolling around in the grass like teenagers with nowhere to….go
7) Still having vacation in June and trying to figure out what to do with it
Eight) Knowing what kind of person I am, and knowing that I am good and honorable and deserving of happiness
9) I have incredible people who love me

I don’t think I can do anything about the whole wearing my heart on my sleeve thing. I think I’m going to try to keep my shirt on a bit more though. I’m going to be open to what life throws at me, and continue to believe in Karma, and just try to live as cleanly as possible.

I just looked at this post and there are smiley face emoticons in it. What the fuck? That’s um. Funny. I think i’ll just leave them because irony is good. And not in a fake “isn’t it ironic” Alanis kind of way, but in a real, that’s fucking irony kind of way.

On second thought it seems like the number 8) with a parenthesis makes an emoticon. Fun.


  1. Sending hugs from your potential vacation spot!

  2. Wanted to send some positive energy and thoughts and hugs to you… it will all get better… it really will…

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