Archive for April, 2009


i don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors but…

April 9, 2009

What a difference a week can make. Ups and Downs and all over the place emotionally.

Trying to get out of my head a little bit and just accept what the universe is providing me, even if it is crazy and amazing and strange and beautiful.

Because I’m maybe starting to figure out that I’m pretty ok. And I deserve to be happy and loved just as much as….anyone.


the amazing people

April 6, 2009

Thanks for all the positive reinforcement about my kitchen. Those who have seen it in person have thought it was awesome too, and last night I cooked my first meal (pasta/pesto/tomatoes/artichoke hearts/olives) in it. Aside from burning some garlic bread (I totally forgot about it) it worked pretty well. Some things will need to be tweaked for optimum efficiency, but I think it is going to be great.

I had a great weekend. I think that’s pretty freaking amazing. I still have my moments. They still happen daily. But they are less of an emotional upheaval, and I really found some time to just enjoy myself and those who love me this weekend. I worked, played, and relaxed. I spent an evening with someone who kinda gets me pretty good, and who I don’t ever really get to see, and that was a gift in itself.  In addition to that, I resisted the urge to pick up a paintbrush or unpack and I spent my Sunday outside enjoying some good weather and inside just vegetating.

And then I got invited to a byo (meat/drink) bbq at E and J’s house. I know that I ‘ve totally shouted out my sister for taking excellent care of me through the course of this break up, but next down on the list of people that have kept me (relatively) sane are E and J.  I have liked E and J since I met them, when their son j (we’ll go lowercase for him as to not confuse between him and mom J)  was just shy of a year old, and S and I were just starting out on the baby making thing.  I was with E the moment she found out that they would be adopting A. I’ve known both of their kids for most of their lives, but I’ve been able to spend a lot more time with them recently which has centered me, and made me really recognize what is important to me.  They both have so many great qualities, and are awesome parents to two of the sweetest children ever.  They are also awesome friends who have pretty much had the….support of me enough to say what they were really thinking about what was going on. Which had been lacking in my life, and needed, and really good for me to hear.

Tonight was not unlike others, but I just want to give you glimpse of why it’s so healing and great for me to hang out in their space. First, I must show the cuteness.  As a gift, j received one of those small animatronic “spike” dinosaurs. And it absolutely TERRIFIES him. So much so that he made E and J put it in the basement. And then, j made this sign to put on the basement door:


If you don’t have “kid read,” his sign says, “No dinosaurs allowed please love j.” How fucking cute is that? Not only that but j boosts my ego every time I see him. A few weeks back when playing catch, I caught a pretty wildly thrown ball with one hand. And j said, “J, you are SO good at sports.” Today’s gem was “j, I hope that someday I am as tall as you are!” Even though that will likely happen when he’s 12, it still felt good that someone thinks I’m tall.

Back to the moms and the campfire. It’s just so nice and relaxing to shoot the shit and laugh and joke around a fire. Tonight we had a new discovery which I believe is going to become a yearly Easter time event.  Peeps on the barbie.

No joke, these are delicious. Like a toasted marshmallow with a crispy-ish cotton candy tasting shell. So good. I really thought they would be icky but they were lovely. I will admit there were some mishaps, and we lost some to the fire. At least these two went down together.

Seriously, stock up on them after Sunday for your next bbq. You’ll thank me later.

I’m really happy that the sunshine is starting to get to me. It’s about time.


and sometimes i frighten myself…

April 3, 2009

with how awesome I am.

I think of it as Martha Stewart meets Monster Garage.

It took 3 days and some major swearing but I managed to put that whole freaking thing together and it’s amazing and it has a light and a power strip on it and is so so so cool and me and perfect and makes me so happy to walk into my kitchen.

And um, it’s the little things that make it super extra special.

Yes, I am that gay. But…it’s awesome. It’s also 2.08 in the morning so. um. bed. now.


pulling up

April 2, 2009

I swear I’m going to take my “day off” and relax, it just didn’t happen today.

My house is starting to become my home. My kitchen is painted and the furniture is somewhat assembled. I’m going for a Monster Garage meets Martha Stewart kind of thing. I’ll take pictures when it’s done but it may be the butchest/gayest kitchen design ever. I’m kind of in love with myself for thinking it would work and making it happen.

For me, the kitchen is so very much the most important room. I show people that I love them by cooking. I also haven’t had more to eat than cereal, pizza, and bananas in this house because i haven’t unpacked any kitchen stuff yet because 1)I hate re-moving things after placing them, and 2) until today had no where to put anything.

I also accomplished some tasky things today. I kind of have a little fire under my behind because of a visitor coming this weekend who I’d like to at least see my place and think I’m not totally inept at fending for myself. I have also remembered that just because I don’t drink coffee, most of the rest of the population does and well, I need to be prepared for things like that.  So, I got a French press because I figure at least I can steep my tea at the same time.

In addition, the “geek squad” came to my house and showed me how to make my tv work right and also made it so I only have to use one remote, not three. Score one for the geeks.

I somehow managed to fit in time for acupuncture and a haircut and dinner with a friend. I would have done the therapy thing but that got canceled which gave me more time for the second coat of the kitchen.

And, one little factoid that I don’t know if it means anything but as March was perhaps the worst month of my personal life, ever, it was the most successful of my professional life. Which is strange because I felt like I  wasn’t doing a damn thing and was pretty vacant. I wonder what it means, or if the universe was being kind.