Archive for July, 2007

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overwhelmed

July 20, 2007

Needles, drugs, and dates. All of them acquired yesterday. Wow.

On the advice of a really smart friend, I flat out asked nurse wonderful if perhaps she had any drug samples of the one really expensive stimulating drug that I needed. No begging, or tears, just asking. And know what? Yeah. She did. I now have enough for probably 2 (or more) cycles. Amazing. 

We also paid in full for the procedure. Also a big wow. I’ve never signed for something that cost that much and not actually gotten something tangible, like a car in the driveway or travel tickets, etc.  It’s kind of weird and surreal all at the same time.  I wasn’t planning on talking about money or how we paid for it, but so many of you have asked “how,” so I’ll get over my “this is incredibly tacky” feeling and just let you know how we took care of our bill.

S and I have excellent credit but we don’t really own anything. We share one car, and rent, rather than own.  Due to this fact, getting a bank loan was pretty much out of the question, as the lowest interest rate we could secure was much higher than I was willing to pay.  Our clinic doesn’t play with any of the infertility lenders, preferring to offer a lower rate for the procedures but have patients secure their own funding, so this wasn’t an option.

I called my favorite credit card and asked what they could do. Turns out, they could do a lot. They bumped up my credit limit to above the whole cost of the IVF, and also lowered my APR to almost nothing. It seemed logical to do what you’re not supposed to do, and so we charged the whole amount.  We plan to pay this debt off in big chunks, but it’s nice to know that if there is a lean month, or something unexpected comes up, we won’t be strapped to make a defined payment amount.  This is not the preferred method of payment, I know, but I think it will work well for us.

We enjoyed quite a bit of face time, both with our doctor and our nurse yesterday and I was reminded again how much I like using a clinic that has a relatively small amount of patients at the same time. I think it makes their success rates higher, and also forges a more personal connection. I feel like I really am cared for by all involved, rather than being shuttled through the process quickly, just being a number rather than an individual.  I also remember that this clinic is the ONLY option around here, and well, I’m just very thankful.

Interestingly, later in the afternoon, S called me in to watch a news segment on our local station about something to be careful of at fertility clinics.  Turns out they did about a 1 minute segment on how fertility clinics are doing ICSI on couples who don’t need it just to make the extra money.  While this may be true, I think it’s really fucked up to air something like that in their broadcasting area where there is ONLY one clinic, and NOT give that clinic a chance to talk about it. No chance to deny it, and no chance to say something like, “Yes, unfortunately this is something that does happen at some fertility clinics, though you can be assured it is something that doesn’t happen here, and this is why…..” It just rubbed me the wrong way and seemed like really irresponsible journalism (if you can call it that.)

Ok, back to the stuff you care about.

Lupron starts next Thursday. Stims start in the second week of August. Tentative retreival/transfer? August 20/23.

Holy shit.

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but it wasn’t a real rock

July 19, 2007

How is it that my mom seems to have this uncanny ability to totally brighten up my day at the most perfect time? Case in point: I spent much of yesterday fretting over paying our IVF bill, which gets paid, in full, today. Wow. I spent about an hour or so on this, finally coming up with the PERFECT (really, it’s brilliant) solution to my huge bill paying problem.

I was so proud of myself, that after I called S to tell her the good news, that everything was fine, and that we wouldn’t have to be eating Ramen for the next 3 years, I called my mom.  Mostly to check in, but to also share that I’m a financial genius, a fact that she could appreciate.  WHILE I was on the phone with her, there was a knock on the door. Lookit that, there’s my UPS guy, with a package for me from “Pooltoys dot com.” 

I said to my mom “uhm…I just got a weird package from a company that makes pool toys.” She started laughing. A lot. I grew suspicious immediatly. “Did you have anything to do with this?” I asked. She said, “yep. Open it up.” And so I did. Because she saw it at a company beach party and and though I had to have one just like it.

You know I blew that thing up within seconds of hanging up the phone with her. And now, the red guy lives in the living room.

Completly random, and wonderful.

 

Thanks, Mom.

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Overheard in Portland, Maine

July 18, 2007

“I actually spend a lot of time thinking about the world’s great mysteries, like how does 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner really work?”

 

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roadblock

July 16, 2007

Or rather, the trials and tribulations of living on the water.  I WOULD have made it to work on time this morning had the drawbridge not had other plans for me.  I have been riding my bike to work every dry day so far this summer (because it’s a way to get an hour of excersize AND be a good eco-citizen) and in order to do so I must take this bridge. Blast.

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You should be outside!!

July 14, 2007

I am.

A 4 day weekend is my excuse for being absent. Lucky me, I’ve picked perhaps the 4 most beautiful summer days so far.

Things “accomplished?”

Sleeping in
Seeing movies (HP5, Ratatouille, and tomorrow, Transformers)
Spenidng time in pool halls
Playing games outside
Eating out
Got my knives sharpened (which makes me seriously happy)
Walking downtown
Window shopping
Farmer’s Marketing
Spending good time with friends
Spending good time with each other
Not worrying about starting our IVF cycle

Today? Plans to go strawberry picking are in the works, and perhaps some swimming in the afternoon.

Life is good, eh?

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next to g-dliness?

July 10, 2007

Before going into the post I first should disclose that I am not one of those clean freak people.  By no means are we “dirty” people, but I won’t hide the fact that I’m REALLY good at creating clutter, shedding clothing all over the place, and having somewhat messy piles of “stuff” kind of all over the place. Little “shit depository areas” if you will. So, really, I’m not a modern day Mr. Clean with better earrings. But still. I have this thing.

If people are coming over? My house has to be clean.  I mean for casual card playing and whatnot, I’m not going crazy cleaning before they get there (ok, I lied, I go into a tizzy of spot neatening), but it pains me for there to be clutter, or dishes in the sink, or clothes on the floor if people are over. This is why sometimes our bedroom looks like a bomb went off in it, because if people are coming over short notice like, all clutter gets tossed in there. 

Now if people are STAYING? Spotless. Seriously. Floors all polished and clean and no dirt on them. Counters, fridge, shelving…all wiped down. Windowsills, etc, clean. Couch vacuumed (and sometimes I have to “tape” it to get all of the dust off, especially in corners, etc) and all sheets washed and pressed and things are ready to go. I know that’s part of being a good host, but I think there is more too it for me.

 I think it has to do with shame. 

I don’t hide the fact that I grew up with incredible privilege. My parents (when I was young) were very wealthy, and this afforded them luxuries like having a live in housekeeper/nanny for us. EVERYTHING was done for us. Cleaning, cooking, etc. I didn’t do my own hair until I was like, 12 or something. My mother, who had been a very very successful banker was able to quit her job after my sister was born, and help my dad out with his business.

When I was around 14, (early nineties) my parents “lost” most of their money. Things got really bad. My dad became…not nice. He and my mom fought all the time.  My mom had to return to the work force but could only get a job in retail. The country was in a recession, and she was getting denied jobs because she was over-qualified.  Her new job required her to be on her feet for many hours of the day. My dad gave up his business and took a job with a friends advertising firm – which was over an hour away (not including NYC/Jersey traffic.)

I was left to watch the kids in the afternoons after school, and expected to 1)keep them happy (they were 11 and 6 at the time) 2)clean the house and 3) get dinner started.  Well. Often these plans didn’t work out so well, and my parents (usually my dad first) would come home to 3 kids killing each other, a mess, and no dinner. 

And of the things that were pushed to the side, house cleaning was certainly on the list of things my parents were caring less about. Except when company came. If company was coming we would stay up ALL NIGHT cleaning the house until it met my fathers seal of approval. Even if we had school the next day. I’m kind of like that now. 

I have a close (close in lineage, but not actually “close” to me) relative whose house is disgusting. There’s pet hair and dirt everywhere. A mountain of dirty laundry runs down the stairs creating a carpet that one must wade through just to get up or down them. The kitchen is gross. Dishes are always in the sink. I have a hard time just being in there, and an even harder time eating there – which I try to never do.  

I also have a hard time eating at potluck dinners – places where I can’t see the kitchen that the food is coming out of. In these occasions, I try to suspend all thoughts about cleanliness (I do this in some restaurants, too) and move on. It’s hard to do. Most of the time it works.  I’ve lied about food allergies so I didn’t have to eat  products from  kitchens I was sketchy about. I’ve had to remember that I’m not supposed to eat certain things when I’m with these people. It’s hard to keep up. I’m not proud of this. But its happened.

I think that part of my issues with cleanliness are because I don’t want people to feel that way about me and my house.  I don’t want to be judged because of how clean my place is, and I also know that most of my friends AREN’T doing that, but it’s still where my brain goes. Part of it is OCD.  It must be. It sometimes pains me to not be able to just let go.  I wish there were a way to get over it. 

Anyone else have issues like this? 

Also, you know, if you come stay with me? The house is going to be freaking spotless. Probably better than hotel rooms. See there I go again. Weird pride thing about it too. See? Clearly, I’m mental and need some help, at least around this issue.  

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The stuff legends are made of

July 9, 2007

The image above is kind of famous around these parts. It is prominently displayed on the menu of a favorite local eatery/watering hole, and often times people will ponder over the sign’s exact location (we eat there a lot.)  Being as no one has ever jumped up and said “it is located…here!!” I pretty much figured that it would not be something I would ever get to see in person.

Luckily for me, I made a slight wrong turn on our camp adventure on Saturday and lo and behold, we found “THE Maine foreign locations” sign.  Yes, these are all real names of real Maine towns.  I always find it funny when the local news talks about events happening in these “distant” locations.

I also thought it funny when I heard a radio advertisement for all of the AWESOME things happening in the L.A. area. When I questioned S as to why we were getting radio ads for a city in California, she informed me that the region in question was actually Lewiston / Auburn. The “twin cities” slogan is “It’s happening here!”  Trust me, it isn’t. It’s  nothing like the Minneapolis/St. Paul twin cities, and even less like it’s Californian namesake.

Though they do have a minor league hockey team and a 24 hour Dennys. That’s hot.(I can almost FEEL the hate comments already from the militant L/A’ers.)

As much as I don’t think there’s too much happening in L/A,  I will continue to admit that my favorite gay bar ever is located within the city limits of Lewiston.

I”ve digressed from my real excitement about finding “the” sign. Mostly, my companions in the journey thought it was really funny that I was so excited about finding it, and voted me the one to get out of the car and photograph it. But really. It was exciting.

And if you have something good to barter, I MAY tell you where it is:)