Archive for February, 2007


i love Lewiston, maine

February 12, 2007

This past weekend was one of the most action packed weekends we’ve had in a really really long time. It seems like we were doing something, or on our way to do something, or coming home from doing something all weekend. Which isn’t a bad thing – it’s good to have a lot of “action” every now and again. Though I will admit that waking up this morning was a little rough.  I managed to do our taxes, go ice skating, go to Boston to see a movie, hit up my favorite two year olds birthday party, and well, have perhaps one of the best night’s EVER, thanks to Bates College and the City of Lewiston, ME.

We have a friend who is a professor at Bates and who is also friends with Annie Sprinkle. So she brought her to the college to do a lecture about her life and career, which was an amazing hour and a half of hysterical (mostly bad) 70’s porn, viewed some awesome slides of her art and activism work, and had good conversations about feminism, porn, sex work, and…basically, every woman’s right to enjoy her body and experience pleasure. I’ve followed Annie’s career for some time, and it was really neat to meet her and see her work up close and personal. Uh, we also got to see her “Bosom Ballet,” which words can not describe how brilliant the performance was. But the best part???

We arrived early to the event and before the presentation our professor friend introduced us to Annie. Which was awesome in itself, but it gets better. After that, I asked my friend where the restroom was, because you know, it was a bit of a drive. I had to pee very very badly. And my friend said “great, Annie needs to change and so you can escort her to the bathroom.” I’m like, ok. So I go stand near where Annie is setting some stuff up. A few minutes go by. I still really have too pee. I’m getting restless, but she’s still futzing with presentation stuff.  Just as I’m starting to get desperate, she looks over at me as if she’s ready to go. But then says that she’d really like to do a “ritual” before the presentation, and could she have some people help her with that.

Now, I’ve known for years that my professor friend doesn’t do “ritual.”  Though until that moment I didn’t really know what she was talking about, as we’ve always had a nice time celebrating holidays together (she’s the other Jew in town (joke,)) and though the formalities of things seem to not be her “thing,” they’re not really mine either. So I never really asked for clarification on the whole ritual thing. But when Annie announced that she was doing one, professor friend high tailed it across the room to where S was hanging out.  Being as I was a foot away, she kind of pulled me in to her circle, and along with 2 other students we had a few minute long Annie Sprinkle led ritual to the g-ddesses of sexual pleasure (amongst other things.) Now…I will not discredit or discount someone else’s expression of spirituality or spiritual awareness.  I think that if it works for you, it works for you. But I must confess that this kind of ritual does not work for me. At all.  Which I kind of knew beforehand but you know, it’s something (and good story fodder) to have your “ritual” cherry popped by Annie Sprinkle.

One might have thought that that excitement would be enough for one evening but no, not quite in our case. After the presentation, the lovely J and her partner and S and I decided that because we were in Lewiston, we owed it to ourselves to get a drink at the local gay bar, (which I believe is the oldest running gay bar in ME) Sportsman’s Athletic Club. It’s the kind of place where probably less than 10 or so years ago you needed to have a “membership” to gain entry. But now it’s a very hole in the wall, working class gay bar, with a bar, a small empty dance floor with a disco ball, and some tables in the back.  I LOVE bars like this.  What made it even better? Going up to the bar, ordering some drinks and having the bartender tell us “Oh, it’s an open bar right now. See that guy at the end of the bar (there were like, 6 people in the place) in the white sweater? He’s running an open tab for the bar right now. Enjoy. But don’t bother to thank him because he’s a pompous ass.” Yee Haw. We had a few rounds on Mr. Pompous, and enjoyed the atmosphere and music (mix of hip-hop, country, and heavy metal. Right on.) and each others company.

After this much excitement, good times, chatter, and drink, we were hungry. The only place open in ME for food after oh, say 10pm is Denny’s. This is true in Portland AND most other ME cities. So, even though we knew it was a gastrointestinal nightmare waiting to happen (and it was, believe me) we went and had breakfast at midnight, at Denny’s.  All I can say is…there’s nothing like the scent of snowmobile fuel early in the morning.  Mmm-hmmm…

So, How was your weekend??


it’s a big surprise right between the eyes

February 9, 2007

Another stunning realization was made last night, around 9:30 or so. See, as I’ve discussed (ad nauseam) we don’t pay for television. So we only get two channels (with rabbit ears, and they’re still fuzzy) and so we don’t actually watch much TV.  Except at 9 pm on Thursday nights. Because somehow, we’ve gotten ourselves addicted to Grey’s Anatomy. This is the first time in my life that I’ve had a “show.” I feel like I have that “elderly woman gotta watch her “shows”” kind of thing going on, but I get pretty upset if we miss it. It’s kind of a date for us. And cleverly, ABC re-plays the episode on Friday nights so, if we DO miss it, we can catch it the next day. Or off their website. But whatever. Anyway, on to the realization.  

After watching a Wendy’s commercial in which the background was the music from the Violent Femme’s (I can’t believe THEY sold out) “Blister in the Sun,” and then watching some car/bank/whatever commercial using the Soup Dragon’s “I’m Free,” (yes, I know it’s a Stones song, but this was completely the SD’s version of it) and then, THEN, some other forgettable company used Modern English’s “Melt with You,” as the background to their commercial.  I looked at S and said, “holy shit. We’re THE target group.  I mean, it seemed in the last few years it seemed that advertisers were pandering to the +45 or so crowd, using a lot of Beatles (thanks Michael Jackson) and hippie 60’s music as the background to advertisements. And I understand this as this age bracket makes up a HUGE part (if not the biggest) part of the US population right now. But seriously. Those songs? My youth. My high school days. Right back at me. I’m feeling old.

On to other things. My day started well (besides the fact that it’s freezing) with a man from a local supply shop calling me and saying, “Hi, this is *** from ******. I have three hoses.” Yep, I could only reply with, “wow, you must be quite popular.”  My mouth is going to get me into trouble some day. Actually, forget that. It has already done enough damage. 

Thanks for all your ideas on the ring location expedition of ’07. It still isn’t found. I’m sad, but it’s not horrible, since I must confess that in reality, I am NOT good with jewelry, which is something that we both knew when we had these rings made. It is replaceable, and it wasn’t too very expensive that it will kill us to buy another. We’ll give it a few more weeks and see if it turns up. Also, I’m really…pretty much a very…methodical person, and when I take my ring off, there’s only like 3 places I’d actually put it. As it’s not in any of those places, I kind of feel like perhaps this is more likely what happened.  I have lost like, 40 pounds since I got married. It’s also really cold here. So cold that I’ve had to wear gloves, which I don’t normally do. Not just one pair either. I wear a pair of those cheap stretchy gloves underneath a pair of those…gas station/smokers gloves which have the fingers cut off at the first knuckle and then have a mitten part that goes around it. So combined with my fingers being smaller, and it being cold, my main fear is that we were out somewhere, and I had to rip my gloves off to do something (answer phone, get at wallet, whatever) and the ring flipped off then. Which is sad. But not an irreversible condition….again though, I thank you for all of your suggestions (none of them worked though.)           



nope. not there. *Updated*

February 7, 2007

I can tell you that my ring absolutley did NOT go out in the garbage last night. I know. I went through all 3 bins of it in our house. I did learn that S drinks too much coffee, as the grounds were copious. And smelly. Well, that might have been from the eggs. Or week old vegetable peels. Gah.

I’m also now 98% sure it’s not in our living room, which I cleaned and vacuumed very very well last night.

Next choice? Hoping it is somehow tangled up in our bed. That I checked. Twice already.

Oy Vey.


Just more depressing:

Emptied/checked vacuum, not there.

All drains are too small for the ring.

We have no pets that don’t live in cages.

It’s not under the fridge, or stove. Gah.


crappiest married person ever

February 6, 2007

Well, maybe not really. That’s probably reserved for that astronaut in Texas. But still.

Why such suckage?

I seem to have…misplaced my wedding ring.

I mustve taken it off to cook, sleep, or work out.

I’m about 98% sure it’s IN my house.

I’m about 79% sure it’s either in the kitchen, livingroom, or bedroom.

Somewhat thourough looking expeditions have only revealed that we seriously need to vacuum under the couch and bed.


 Please please please just be missing and not the “lost” word. I couldn’t stand that.


Football, and then, if you stick around, some politics

February 5, 2007

I will admit, I was rooting for the Bears. They did not come through. That’s ok. I had called my football predicting friend earlier in the day to see what her choice was. She picks the winning team depending on which teams personification can beat the other team’s personification. For example:  can a Dolphin beat a Giant? Probably not. That’s how she makes her choice. She picked the Bears, because a Bear is more likely to do damage to a Colt than the other way around. She did mention “though, sometimes the bear is Winnie the Pooh, and sometimes the colt is My Little Pony.” So you never know.

S has another method of picking winners. She goes with the uniform colors. Whichever team has a more pleasing (to her) uniform color combination, they get the nod to win. So, last night, S liked the blue and white better than black and orange, “I just really don’t like black and orange together unless it’s Halloween, which it isn’t,” and so, S was correct in picking the Colts to win.

I just pick whichever team does not have a “Manning” at the helm and go with that. I think it’s mostly just to piss my mother off.  She’s a Giants fan.  When they were out of it weeks ago, she seamlessly moved over to the Colts, like a weird game of follow that Manning. Bah.

I’m just going to say that sometimes it’s very hard to be a “thinking” person. When you’re a “thinking” person, the so called “funny” commercials that you watch the Super Bowl to experience become mostly, “not so funny” and riddled with latent sexism and homophobia.  Like the Snickers ad.  I will say that Coke kind of made up for it with their take on “Grand Theft Auto,” and had the “main character be a nice guy instead of a violent car theiving thug.  I mean, I can’t possibly be the only person who read the man in the pink sweater that he pulls up from the convertible and gives a Coke to as queer.  It was a touching moment. Really.

Also…lets talk halftime for just a second. Apparently, America goes nuts when a little bit o’ nipple is slipped on TV, but nary a word is said when a huge shadow of a guitar neck erection is on national television. I don’t know about you, but I thought that image was WAY dirtier than a nipple shot.  Sexism, anyone?


like a record baby right round round round

February 1, 2007

Last year after I was dx’d with PCOS, I knew it was time to radically change my sedentary lifestyle. I have a long history with poor personal health, most of it reaching points of change in the last 5 or so years.

After my father died in 2002, I went through a time of extreme depression and (like many people, women especially) used food to help me through my grief and anger and sadness.  In addition to losing my dad, I was then living in my hometown, where I had 2 friends, no queer friends, and the prospects of meeting anyone who even resembled what I’m about were slim.  I was smoking too much, and watching too much tv and not being very healthy.  My weight hovered around the 250 mark. I was not looking well.

Sometime in around…November of ’02, something switched. I bought some running shoes and started jogging in my neighborhood.  When it got too cold outside, I joined the cheapest, most bare bones gym in town – the boxer’s gym.  And I started going religiously. If I was working a day shift, I went at 5 o’clock. If I was working a night shift, I went at 2. I started eating…better. And I lost a lot of weight. I got myself down to about 190. Which, for me, was pretty incredible.

And then I fell in love. And moved. And dealt with the stress of living in a new city, and finding a job and friends, and everything else that comes along with that.  Though we tried to keep a consistent work out schedule, it just didn’t happen.  And the weight piled back on. And when we got married in 2005, I was back up at the 230 mark. And then came the PCOS dx. And all the things that come along with a PCOS dx. Like high risk of diabetes. And heart disease. And strokes. And a whole lot of other not so nice things. 
And something had to change.

Being as we knew the whole “going to the gym” thing wasn’t working for us, we decided that, even though we were already grossly in debt from our wedding, we would buy the best treadmill that we could see ourselves going into more debt over. So we found one. And then we put it in the only room of our house with a TV. Which was sad because it was the best decorated, coolest room of our house, and now it was all mucked up with this huge treadmill! But it was ok, because I was determined to not let it turn into a very expensive clothes hanger.

I also made a goal of “paying” off the treadmill in miles, over the course of 2 years. I gave every mile a dollar value of $1.  So far in a year and four months, we’ve paid off $349 dollars worth of treadmill. We’ll get there.

Anyway,  it worked. I would walk/jog for about an hour a day. I had a free weights routine. I lost 40 or so pounds. I mean, yeah, Metformin helped, but I did a lot of the work. I gave up sugar, and dairy, and a lot of carbs. I was doing well. And then trying to make a baby and fertility drugs happened. And I stopped working out as much. And totally ate a whole lot crappier, especially when we had “bad” moments of sadness and grief. I gained some weight back. Not all, but definitely some.

And then we took a break. And while I continued to work out, I engaged in some not so healthy behaviors, and then Christmas came and I had to fold up the treadmill, and well, early January wasn’t very inspiring either, and my working out was very spotty.  But the tide is turning again.  I’m back on track with my work outs. And last week, we bought this:

Not the bike – that’s years old, but the trainer and wheel block.  Which is AWESOME.  It was fairly inexpensive, and being as my bike is already an eyesore in my hallway, at least now it can get some use. And as I love bike riding, it’ll be nice to train on my actual bike, instead of a different one. It’s neat – resistance is pretty good, and I can shift gears just like if I was outside.  And it comes apart really easily so I can turn the living groom from gym into…useable space in about 10 minutes. Score. Highly reccomend.

This has turned into a long and rambly post but mostly I just wanted to put it out there that I know how stressful ttc can be, and I don’t think I’m alone in having this stress effect my waistband. There are things that can be done to combat this. Also – knowing that having the healthiest body that you possibly can does so many things. Besides the MAJOR one of feeling good about yourself (no matter WHAT size you are. Do not get the idea that I’m promoting a “type” of body image here. I’m just promoting heart/body/mental health. Swear) and what you’re doing for your body, being healthy does a ton of other things. Like increase your stamina, increase brain clarity, and also, lays solid groundwork to be the home for your baby for 9 months!

So, what’s worked for you? How do you maintain your health (physical/mental) when ttc, or just dealing with stressful situations? What are your personal health goals, and how are you trying to attain them?  How can we better support each other in being healthier individuals while going through all kinds of stress???

Big post. I know. But I think….it can spawn some good support, and some good discussion.