Archive for February, 2007


i can no longer shop happily

February 16, 2007

On Valentines day, S and I had planned a small date like outing to the grand opening of the new Whole Foods market here in town.  I love WF. Yes, it’s a bit expensive, but the food is so so nice looking, and fresh, and well, really pretty to look at.  I think it’s very exciting that our fair city finally has a WF. Perhaps this means Trader Joe’s is on the way, but this is a really great first step.

Unfortunately for us, we got kind of snowed in on Wednesday, so we went to WF yesterday after work. Now first let me say that it’s been really cold here. Two days ago, my hair actually froze into big clumps. Serious.  A blow dryer wha?? Anyway, the next morning I decided that instead of having frozen hair again, I wouldn’t wash it, and wear a ball cap. I looked cute, all was well.

So, back to WF. We spent about an hour and a half there, not spending much money (though we DID have a $25 gift card, that at the register somehow malfunctioned and ended up paying for all $40 dollars of our purchase, so score one for the home team there) and just looking at what they had – which was a lot of new and awesome stuff, all different from other WF markets we’d been in before. Gelato bar, chocolate shop, Indian food bar….just neat things.  

It wasn’t till I got home and went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror when washing my hands that I noticed that some of my hair had come untucked out of the sides of my cap and was sticking out wildly. I looked like a crazy lady. For true. I went out and said to S, “I can’t believe you let me walk around in public looking like a crack whore!!” She looked at me for a long moment and said, “uhm. I’m sorry. You do look like a crazy lady. But I was so mesmerized by the beauty that is WF that I missed it. I’m really sorry.”  I said, “are you serious??”  To which she replied, “uh…yeah. But you know, look on the bright side. At least we didn’t see anyone we knew (which is a rarity as we usually see half of the local queer population whenever we’re out grocery shopping) while we were there!!”

Thanks hon. Way to look out for me. And thanks for always seeing the “bright side” of things.


v-day recap

February 15, 2007

Yesterday could have been the best Valentine’s day ever. Because of the snow, I went to work very early, and came home before lunchtime, when the blizzard really started to kick in.

We had lunch with my sister and our friend M, and then watched a couple of movies. FYI: I still hate period piece movies that use popular music (and in the case of Marie Antoinette, a pair of Chuck Taylor’s were in her shoe closet and while cute for a second, mostly that kind of stuff just pisses me off) as a soundtrack. My least favorite movie, ever? Moulin Rouge.  One of S’s favoritist movies ever? Moulin Rouge.  I should be fair though, I actually have not seen the entire Moulin Rouge movie. I can only watch pieces of it at a time until it starts to really annoy me (which happens pretty quick. If watching from the beginning, the first major annoyance is when they start singing Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit.) I think S liked Marie Antoinette better than I did but I think outside of the great costumes, I think we both thought that it was pretty weak. 

For those keeping track (or stalking my likes and dislikes) we also didn’t think much of the film version of Running with Scissors.  Oh yeah. We started our movie fest attempting to watch a recent Kate Clinton stand-up gig for the now defunct HERE TV, and uh. Well. We watched for 20 minutes hoping that something that came out of her mouth would be funny. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Just…so not funny. Oh well.

As for giftage? We don’t really do a big deal on V-day. We both made each other homemade cards, and as a gift S got me a box of Conversation Hearts. Not just any Conversation Hearts, mind you. A box filled with only the white hearts, which are minty, and my favorite, and the only flavor of heart that I like.  Apparently she bought a bag of the things, and a box, and fished out all the white ones, and then re-sealed the box up. So so sweet.

That girl must really really love me.

Did I mention the beautiful snow? It seriously is a beautiful beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, and it’s cold and crisp. I know I bitch a lot, but man….I do love me some winter.



public valentine’s day love note:

February 14, 2007

Dear S

Thank you for your miles and miles of infinite patience with me.

Thank you for always giving my worries, thoughts, and minutiae your full attention.

Thank you for putting up with my silly antics and crazy ideas.

Thank you for going through all of the ups and downs of the past year with me.

Thank you for making me feel less alone in this world.

Thank you for letting me have your love, unconditionally.

Thank you for your strong embrace that always lets me know that you’re there for me.

Thank you for giving me kisses so powerful that I can actually feel your love.

Thank you for letting me attempt to show you the best person that I can possibly be.

Thank you for sticking around when I show you my worst.

Thank you for always being there in the morning.

I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day.


i love Lewiston, maine

February 12, 2007

This past weekend was one of the most action packed weekends we’ve had in a really really long time. It seems like we were doing something, or on our way to do something, or coming home from doing something all weekend. Which isn’t a bad thing – it’s good to have a lot of “action” every now and again. Though I will admit that waking up this morning was a little rough.  I managed to do our taxes, go ice skating, go to Boston to see a movie, hit up my favorite two year olds birthday party, and well, have perhaps one of the best night’s EVER, thanks to Bates College and the City of Lewiston, ME.

We have a friend who is a professor at Bates and who is also friends with Annie Sprinkle. So she brought her to the college to do a lecture about her life and career, which was an amazing hour and a half of hysterical (mostly bad) 70’s porn, viewed some awesome slides of her art and activism work, and had good conversations about feminism, porn, sex work, and…basically, every woman’s right to enjoy her body and experience pleasure. I’ve followed Annie’s career for some time, and it was really neat to meet her and see her work up close and personal. Uh, we also got to see her “Bosom Ballet,” which words can not describe how brilliant the performance was. But the best part???

We arrived early to the event and before the presentation our professor friend introduced us to Annie. Which was awesome in itself, but it gets better. After that, I asked my friend where the restroom was, because you know, it was a bit of a drive. I had to pee very very badly. And my friend said “great, Annie needs to change and so you can escort her to the bathroom.” I’m like, ok. So I go stand near where Annie is setting some stuff up. A few minutes go by. I still really have too pee. I’m getting restless, but she’s still futzing with presentation stuff.  Just as I’m starting to get desperate, she looks over at me as if she’s ready to go. But then says that she’d really like to do a “ritual” before the presentation, and could she have some people help her with that.

Now, I’ve known for years that my professor friend doesn’t do “ritual.”  Though until that moment I didn’t really know what she was talking about, as we’ve always had a nice time celebrating holidays together (she’s the other Jew in town (joke,)) and though the formalities of things seem to not be her “thing,” they’re not really mine either. So I never really asked for clarification on the whole ritual thing. But when Annie announced that she was doing one, professor friend high tailed it across the room to where S was hanging out.  Being as I was a foot away, she kind of pulled me in to her circle, and along with 2 other students we had a few minute long Annie Sprinkle led ritual to the g-ddesses of sexual pleasure (amongst other things.) Now…I will not discredit or discount someone else’s expression of spirituality or spiritual awareness.  I think that if it works for you, it works for you. But I must confess that this kind of ritual does not work for me. At all.  Which I kind of knew beforehand but you know, it’s something (and good story fodder) to have your “ritual” cherry popped by Annie Sprinkle.

One might have thought that that excitement would be enough for one evening but no, not quite in our case. After the presentation, the lovely J and her partner and S and I decided that because we were in Lewiston, we owed it to ourselves to get a drink at the local gay bar, (which I believe is the oldest running gay bar in ME) Sportsman’s Athletic Club. It’s the kind of place where probably less than 10 or so years ago you needed to have a “membership” to gain entry. But now it’s a very hole in the wall, working class gay bar, with a bar, a small empty dance floor with a disco ball, and some tables in the back.  I LOVE bars like this.  What made it even better? Going up to the bar, ordering some drinks and having the bartender tell us “Oh, it’s an open bar right now. See that guy at the end of the bar (there were like, 6 people in the place) in the white sweater? He’s running an open tab for the bar right now. Enjoy. But don’t bother to thank him because he’s a pompous ass.” Yee Haw. We had a few rounds on Mr. Pompous, and enjoyed the atmosphere and music (mix of hip-hop, country, and heavy metal. Right on.) and each others company.

After this much excitement, good times, chatter, and drink, we were hungry. The only place open in ME for food after oh, say 10pm is Denny’s. This is true in Portland AND most other ME cities. So, even though we knew it was a gastrointestinal nightmare waiting to happen (and it was, believe me) we went and had breakfast at midnight, at Denny’s.  All I can say is…there’s nothing like the scent of snowmobile fuel early in the morning.  Mmm-hmmm…

So, How was your weekend??


it’s a big surprise right between the eyes

February 9, 2007

Another stunning realization was made last night, around 9:30 or so. See, as I’ve discussed (ad nauseam) we don’t pay for television. So we only get two channels (with rabbit ears, and they’re still fuzzy) and so we don’t actually watch much TV.  Except at 9 pm on Thursday nights. Because somehow, we’ve gotten ourselves addicted to Grey’s Anatomy. This is the first time in my life that I’ve had a “show.” I feel like I have that “elderly woman gotta watch her “shows”” kind of thing going on, but I get pretty upset if we miss it. It’s kind of a date for us. And cleverly, ABC re-plays the episode on Friday nights so, if we DO miss it, we can catch it the next day. Or off their website. But whatever. Anyway, on to the realization.  

After watching a Wendy’s commercial in which the background was the music from the Violent Femme’s (I can’t believe THEY sold out) “Blister in the Sun,” and then watching some car/bank/whatever commercial using the Soup Dragon’s “I’m Free,” (yes, I know it’s a Stones song, but this was completely the SD’s version of it) and then, THEN, some other forgettable company used Modern English’s “Melt with You,” as the background to their commercial.  I looked at S and said, “holy shit. We’re THE target group.  I mean, it seemed in the last few years it seemed that advertisers were pandering to the +45 or so crowd, using a lot of Beatles (thanks Michael Jackson) and hippie 60’s music as the background to advertisements. And I understand this as this age bracket makes up a HUGE part (if not the biggest) part of the US population right now. But seriously. Those songs? My youth. My high school days. Right back at me. I’m feeling old.

On to other things. My day started well (besides the fact that it’s freezing) with a man from a local supply shop calling me and saying, “Hi, this is *** from ******. I have three hoses.” Yep, I could only reply with, “wow, you must be quite popular.”  My mouth is going to get me into trouble some day. Actually, forget that. It has already done enough damage. 

Thanks for all your ideas on the ring location expedition of ’07. It still isn’t found. I’m sad, but it’s not horrible, since I must confess that in reality, I am NOT good with jewelry, which is something that we both knew when we had these rings made. It is replaceable, and it wasn’t too very expensive that it will kill us to buy another. We’ll give it a few more weeks and see if it turns up. Also, I’m really…pretty much a very…methodical person, and when I take my ring off, there’s only like 3 places I’d actually put it. As it’s not in any of those places, I kind of feel like perhaps this is more likely what happened.  I have lost like, 40 pounds since I got married. It’s also really cold here. So cold that I’ve had to wear gloves, which I don’t normally do. Not just one pair either. I wear a pair of those cheap stretchy gloves underneath a pair of those…gas station/smokers gloves which have the fingers cut off at the first knuckle and then have a mitten part that goes around it. So combined with my fingers being smaller, and it being cold, my main fear is that we were out somewhere, and I had to rip my gloves off to do something (answer phone, get at wallet, whatever) and the ring flipped off then. Which is sad. But not an irreversible condition….again though, I thank you for all of your suggestions (none of them worked though.)           



nope. not there. *Updated*

February 7, 2007

I can tell you that my ring absolutley did NOT go out in the garbage last night. I know. I went through all 3 bins of it in our house. I did learn that S drinks too much coffee, as the grounds were copious. And smelly. Well, that might have been from the eggs. Or week old vegetable peels. Gah.

I’m also now 98% sure it’s not in our living room, which I cleaned and vacuumed very very well last night.

Next choice? Hoping it is somehow tangled up in our bed. That I checked. Twice already.

Oy Vey.


Just more depressing:

Emptied/checked vacuum, not there.

All drains are too small for the ring.

We have no pets that don’t live in cages.

It’s not under the fridge, or stove. Gah.


crappiest married person ever

February 6, 2007

Well, maybe not really. That’s probably reserved for that astronaut in Texas. But still.

Why such suckage?

I seem to have…misplaced my wedding ring.

I mustve taken it off to cook, sleep, or work out.

I’m about 98% sure it’s IN my house.

I’m about 79% sure it’s either in the kitchen, livingroom, or bedroom.

Somewhat thourough looking expeditions have only revealed that we seriously need to vacuum under the couch and bed.


 Please please please just be missing and not the “lost” word. I couldn’t stand that.